Chrestomathy
Yet another voice in the cacophony.
Tuesday, September 25 2018 @ 01:54 PM PDT
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 How to tell it's a bad week, #581 Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Tuesday, June 05 2007 @ 09:53 PM PDT
 Viewed:  931 times  
LifeYou find yourself grooving along to Pretty Little Hate Machine without a trace of nostalgia or irony.

 Videlols Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Monday, June 04 2007 @ 08:30 PM PDT
 Viewed:  697 times  
KitschPop Rocks

WiiPlay Rejects


 Read This. Yes, you. Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Thursday, May 24 2007 @ 06:48 PM PDT
 Viewed:  881 times  
PoliticsI never expected this speech to be given by a republican from Texas. I'll be examining his voting record shortly.

Click for the speech.

It's long, and he's not the best public speaker in the world, but to hear an elected official come out and say some of this stuff.... dare I say it?.... gives me hope.

Update: Okay, there are things that I saw in his voting record that I don't agree with, and overall I think it'd be a mistake to give him the presidency (he's running, btw). On this particular topic - patriotism, dissent & civil liberties - I think he can act as a role model for anyone... someone, perhaps, that's a little less socially conservative? Anyone?

In other news, Keith Olbermann had a special message yesterday for the congressional leadership.

 Doritos X-13D Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Tuesday, May 15 2007 @ 03:32 PM PDT
 Viewed:  895 times  
KitschDoritos has a new chip, and they're looking for a name.

I tried them.

My vote for the name is, "Doritos: Extreme Mouth Full of Ass Juice", or maybe just "Doritos: Tubgirl Extreme" (the "extreme" is pretty much mandatory.)

Your mileage may vary. My roommate seemed fine with them.

 Slogan Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Friday, April 27 2007 @ 04:35 AM PDT
 Viewed:  958 times  
Kitsch"Talking people off the ledge, one failure at a time."

I thought of it as an e-mail signature, and it made me laugh.

 Out take Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Thursday, April 19 2007 @ 12:04 AM PDT
 Viewed:  1059 times  
Life*me rustling through a drawer full of take-out menus*

M: "We should get magnets. That way we could stick the menus we use a lot to this nice empty metal surface." *points to the side of a storage cabinet*

N: "There are some magnet-type devices on the other nice metal surface." *points at refrigerator*

M: "Yeah, but those have a certain feng shui to them that I'd rather not intrude upon"

J: "We should get a hole punch. That way, we could run a string through the menus and tie them up somewhere."

M: "Well, if we're going to go through the effort of acquiring a tool to take care of our menu problem, we might as well scan them and put them as a slide show on the TV."

*beat*

M: "I know what I'm doing tonight."

 Isn't it ironic? Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Tuesday, April 03 2007 @ 09:33 AM PDT
 Viewed:  960 times  
MusicAlanis Morissette's parody of a Black Eyed Peas video.

 Dear sir, Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Monday, April 02 2007 @ 04:31 PM PDT
 Viewed:  887 times  
KitschAn open letter to the gentleman who used the restroom just before I went in:

My hat's off to you sir! I tend to have low expectations when I visit the head, but you have blown me away with the stench that sallied forth when I opened that door.

My eyes watered.

I gagged a little.

There have been times that I've been amused, and even disgusted by the smells emanating from this particular toilet, but you have gone that extra mile. When most people would be satisfied with merely dropping a bomb, you pulled out the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.

The composite bouquet of shit, bile and urine stays with me even now.

I would imagine that if a person were severely lactose intolerant and constipated, this kind of stank could be achieved through the force feeding of a dozen bran muffins, a plate or two of week old sushi and a gallon of whole milk, but I would expect that to also yield a corpse, so you must be one hardy individual!

My curiosity burns with the intensity that your ass hole must have felt to know whether or not you flushed, but I honestly never made it that far into the room.

Once again, I salute you!

1 comments
Most Recent Post: 04/02 05:27PM by Dan4th

 Shoot me. Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Monday, April 02 2007 @ 12:39 PM PDT
 Viewed:  912 times  
MusicI know everybody's musical tastes are different. I know that the stuff I listen to isn't for everyone.

That being said...

If I have to listen to another fucking Steely Dan song I'm going to hang myself with my mouse cord. It's entirely possible that there's some real poetry in those lyrics, but I'll never fucking know because I can't get past the two part harmony being sung through somebody's fucking nose while being backed up by the most insipid and lethargic disco band on the planet.

I wish I could say that made me feel better, but now that the Steely Dan album is over, I'm genuinely afraid of what's next.

Shoot me. Now. Please.

 Brilliant Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Wednesday, March 28 2007 @ 07:53 PM PDT
 Viewed:  832 times  
KitschSad Kermit


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