Chrestomathy
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 Protologisms* Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Sunday, September 25 2005 @ 05:15 AM PDT
 Viewed:  1238 times  
LifeThis morning I read this list of modern-day corporate terminology, and I realized just how out of touch I am with people that are, y'know, normal...er.

It's no great secret that I'm less than enthralled with my current work environment, but I've made it a point thus far to not get into it too much. The usual reasons (corporate image, etc.) come into play, but I also just hate falling into the role of the whiney office drone. It's been done already by much more incisive writers than I am, and I know that there are much worse lots in life than mine.

That being said, here's a list of workplace terminology that I'm pulling out of my ass because most of the normal buzzwords don't adequately capture the essence of my life.

 Another three years... Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Tuesday, September 13 2005 @ 09:43 PM PDT
 Viewed:  1657 times  
LifeIdea stolen from Dan4th:

3 years ago: I was running out of money, having last received a paycheck six months earlier, and still trying to cope with the death of my father.
6 years ago: I had just gotten out of debt (excepting college loans), and was making pretty damn good money.
9 years ago: I was hungover, and living with a whole brain (half of which has since moved to California, and was also hungover to my recollection).
12 years ago: I was flunking physics (my major) and taking Intro to Theatre with a bunch of weirdos - that I fell in love with.
15 years ago: I was eyeball deep in my parents' upcoming divorce and commuting 70 miles a day, each way, to high school (and no, it wasn't uphill both ways.)
18 years ago: I was pouring sodas for tourists and locals - mostly the latter - at a festival in the town where I grew up, and probably thinking about a girl named Paula.
21 years ago: I don't really remember, but I'm sure it involved going to school in a new pair of jeans and dreading the teacher I'd find there.
24 years ago: Again, I don't really remember, but I had just started attending a new school. In a new town. For the third consecutive year.
27 years ago: I can't even remember what state we lived in then.
30 years ago: I was on my way home - for the first time.

 It starts. Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Friday, September 09 2005 @ 05:53 PM PDT
 Viewed:  894 times  
Sports

 Article, revised. Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Tuesday, September 06 2005 @ 08:13 PM PDT
 Viewed:  1117 times  
PoliticsDan4th had a link to a fairly inflammatory article.

My response didn't fit in his comments, so I decided to print it here.

My goal, as always gentle reader, is to do what I can to make our world a better place.

Heh.

 A joke Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Monday, September 05 2005 @ 06:32 PM PDT
 Viewed:  890 times  
KitschThe winner of the Ship of Fools most offensive religious joke contest:


A little girl is standing on top of a cliff, looking down at the sea and crying her eyes out. A priest approaches and says, "My child, why are you so upset?"

The little girl turns to him and says, "My mummy and daddy were in their car -- and it just rolled over the cliff and smashed on the rocks down there."

The priest slowly looks around him while unbuttoning his cassock and says, "It's just not your day, is it?"

 I spy... Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Wednesday, August 31 2005 @ 01:26 AM PDT
 Viewed:  895 times  
TechnologyI found my Jeep in Google Earth. It was right where I left it - parked in front of my house. Right where I parked it an hour or so ago.

Weird.

1 comments
Most Recent Post: 08/31 10:30AM by Dan4th

 Getting warmer Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Wednesday, August 31 2005 @ 12:57 AM PDT
 Viewed:  982 times  
LifeWorking in a startup is a lot like working for a normal, established company except that every deadline feels like you have a gun to your head.

After a while, you might start to feel a little cynical and wonder whether or not that gun is even loaded. A while after that, you might drift into outright disillusionment, and come to the conclusion that the gun probably isn't loaded, and you're not even convinced there's a gun there.

Finally, you reach a point where you no longer care whether or not the gun is loaded, but you'd really like somebody to pull the trigger and just get it the hell over with. That's called burnout.

Guess where I am.

 12 Step Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Tuesday, August 23 2005 @ 09:03 PM PDT
 Viewed:  874 times  
TechnologyHello.

My name is Matt, and I'm a Google Earth addict.

I started playing around with the beta a few weeks ago, and today I became a paying customer.

The bad news though, is that every time I open the thing, I get sucked in. For example, about fifteen minutes elapsed between the words "paying customer" and "The bad news", during which I double checked some information on Gosnold, MA (population 86), visited the site of Ted Kennedy's famous car crash, and learned about a proposed offshore wind power project off the shore of Nantucket.

I'm one of those people that is always hungry for information, regardless of its worth, so having a bunch of terabytes of data presented in an easily browsable and contextually relevant manner... let's just say that I'm getting better at geography.

The software itself is intuitive and remarkably powerful, and for most things there's no difference between the free and paid versions. There's a huge community contributed database of things to see, and that's only one of the 44 top-level data overlays that are available, which include everything from roads to postal code boundaries to finding the nearest pharmacy.

The downside is that because of the sheer volume of data, most people aren't going to have the full experience of seamless navigation. There's a huge difference between my computer at work and the one at home. At work I've got a generic office computer hooked to a T1, and things are relatively slow to load compared to my gaming rig on a cable modem that's juiced up to the point that it rivals the office connection I had when I worked for an ISP. Overall though, I'd say that even when it's slow, the software is worth playing around with.

But then again, I would say that.

I'm an addict.

 rinse, repeat Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Thursday, August 11 2005 @ 11:50 PM PDT
 Viewed:  758 times  
TechnologyI'm going to laugh my arse off if the solution to NASA's foamy dandruff (dandruffy foam?) turns out to be painting the fuel tank.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, take a look at launch pictures of STS-1 or STS-2.

 You can't make this stuff up Email Article To a Friend View Printable Version 
 Author:  matt
 Dated:  Friday, May 06 2005 @ 06:42 PM PDT
 Viewed:  778 times  
KitschChlamydia outbreak kills a dozen penguins

Let me be the first to say, they didn't get it from me. I've never been to the San Francisco Zoo.

What's next syphilitic llamas? (If so, that wasn't me either.)

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